3 Times You Almost Lost All Hope

1. When your mom leaves you in line at the grocery store to “grab something she forgot”… without a form of payment 

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I blame my mother for my extreme anxiety because of the torture she used to put me through at the grocery store. Let me set the scene… you are being the best daughter ever, neatly stacking the groceries on the conveyer built, trying to put them up there as quick as you can so you can get to the real fun… bagging, when all of a sudden your mom says “darn, I forgot the bread”. You don’t think anything of it at the time because you are trapped between your cart and the woman’s cart in front of you and the only thing you can think of is that you can now sneak a pack of gum on the belt while your mom is gallivanting in carbs. About 30 seconds into your gum-themed daydream the sound of a check being ripped out of a check book calls your attention as the woman in front of you has now completed her transaction and your groceries start to cross the threshold only to be stopped by the scanner for a brief second. You look up at the cashier in pure horror because your mother, the woman who is supposed to love you unconditionally has left you moneyless and hopeless for what seems to be hours to find bread which is clearly labeled to be molding in aisle 7. As you try to hide your panic you begin to calculate the amount of time you have left before you either start crying or jump the conveyer belt and sprint out of the store. You calculate that you only have about 45 seconds left and while standing on your tip toes peering over the US Weekly wall you realize the line behind you has gotten longer… this my friends is what I call the point of no return. You then start to convince yourself “she wouldn’t really leave me like this, right? she wouldn’t leave me to fend for myself? She has to be coming back.” And as the cashier gets to the very last items and searches the apple for a 4-digit number on the sticker you hear a familiar voice that resembles that of the devil becoming an angel… your mom. For all that is holy she is back, she found the god damn bread and she hands over her credit card like it’s no big thing and you wipe your brow, take your first breath and casually slip the packet of gum into your back pocket. For all the distress she has caused you, you deserve that gum.

2. When you send a text to the wrong person

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I believe in karma for one reason and one reason only; when I am talking shit about someone via text I absolutely, no question about it, send that shit-talking text to the person I am shit talking. I don’t know what it is about my brain that wants me to torture myself but I guess I deserve it and I guess it’s my own personal way of trying to teach myself a lesson. My sophomore year of college I received a text from this man, let’s call him Brett, asking me if I wanted to grab lunch with him. Not a big deal but I wasn’t feeling it because in college I’m 99.9% sure I was scared shitless of dating. So I did what any normal 20 year old would do and I texted my girlfriend, let’s call her Jen, the following text message…

Jen! That kid just asked me to lunch and in no way am I going to suffer through that for an hour. Give me an excuse of why I can’t make it… stomach bug? death in the family?….

Send.

And as close to being at the top of the largest drop in roller coaster history my stomach beat my mind in realizing what I had just done. The moral of the story is that Brett and I never went to lunch… shocker… but he did call me and text me to remind me of ho much of an immature bitch I was, a reminder that I very clearly did not need. That was the second time I lost all hope.

3. When your only prospect is taken from you…

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5 Facebook Photo Keeping You Single

 

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NoFilter #JustKitten

 

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Not Pictured: Snow White, Pink Power Ranger, Goofy, Grumpy, Prince Charming, Beast, Sneezy

 

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Worst day ever. I look so awful and just can’t live with this face anymore… what do you all think?

 

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Picked out the ring, the dress and color. Just need to find the man. #OnTheHunt #CouldBeBigger

 

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Found Snow White, Pink Power Ranger, Goofy, Grumpy, Prince Charming, Beast, Sneezy

Listening to my own words

I preach about frequency of content on a daily basis. Honestly, it’s probably annoying how much I mention the importance of posting habitually and how a repetitive posting schedule is the North to Kanye’s West. I should probably listen to myself on this one. 

Dear Blog,

I am sorry I left you stranded. I stood you up, left you in the rain, lost your number…

#SorryImSorry

Love,

Me

I will now vow to post at least once a day on this thing. My one fan (hey dad!) will appreciate the 365/year notifications in his inbox, I just know it!

It’s no secret, no page six breakthrough and no $3 mil People cover (we all know you pay your cover models…. paaaalease) that I have a love affair (I’m not sure who or what I am cheating on but digital marketing seems too sexy to say marriage) with digital marketing. I overuse the term “harmonious” and refer to Joe Girad’s Rule of 250 more than Daniel Pink does. I could talk about Oreo, Nike and Old Spice until next Christmas, analyze who would win the Super Bowl if twitter traffic was the 12th man and speak in an English accent while solving the mystery of “what’s next in social”.

I wish it was elementary, my dear Watson… I really do. 

So, like I said I will post here. I will post everyday! Even if it’s just a gif, a meme or a photoshopped wedding photo of Tom (Brady) and I. I hope we can all put our heads together and rock the offensive line in the digital arena. It’s a wacky place to play but I don’t see any sidelines, no refs and the scoreboard hasn’t started its clock yet.

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Take the Training Wheels Off

At some point we all have to take the training wheels off.

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What is that saying? Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man how to fish and he will eat for a lifetime? Whatever. Something like that.

Apply that to social media.

As someone who offered social media services to those more popular than myself (which didn’t take much) I found myself in a gray area when discussing what I would and wouldn’t do in regards to physically posting updates for a client or for how long I would offer such services.

Being authentic is the key to coming out alive in the social Colosseum (Gladiator reference was inevitable and dramatic). It’s obvious that busy schedules allow for less digital interaction and contractual status updates are necessary and sometimes have to be done by finger tips of administrators but the magic moments only made by the actual “famous” person opens the gate to a larger fan base, builds a solid clientele and more importantly lays the foundation of a long-distance relationship kept close through technology.

Why do people follow their favorite singers on YouTuber? Why do we follow our favorite actresses on twitter? Why do we sit on the edge of our seats to watch our favorite athletes on a Google+ Hangout during the work day? Because we want to see candid moments. We want unplanned, unmarketed and untainted breaths of fresh air with people that we believe we would relate to.

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I’ve said it before and I will say it again (for dramatic effect)… good social strategy transforms what once was a monologue into a dialogue. It allows for minds to change, opinions to be formed and moments to not just feel real but actually be real.

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“What do you guys think? Slight slant to the left in 1.5 yards?” -T.Woods

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“Models eat too” – AL

We social media strategist owe it to our clients and to our sanity to teach them rather than do for them. Take the script of Coach Carter and throw Anne Hathaway’s away next to last season’s Pradas.

No matter how much you know about a client; the bios you have read, the company mission you have memorized or the event you have attended for a decade; no one will know the communication objectives and the honest thoughts better than the person behind the brand.

Teach for four-six months then let them go. Show them best practices and implement weekly programming (tweetups, Google+ Hangouts, etc.) but allow them to post on their own. Those fan tweets are just as important as the paid-per-tweet updates so remind them of that a few extra times. 😉

It may feel like dropping your baby off at their first day of school and it may feel like you are throwing someone with a paper cut into a pool full of sharks; but either way it has to be done.

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If you have done your job and you have communicated the importance of fan/client/customer interaction than they will be just fine. And you can smile as you scroll through your twitter feed knowing that they RT a fan on her Birthday all on their own. And you can pat yourself on the back quietly and without acknowledgment because you are a mascot and no one can know who is under the giant head.

+1, RT and LIKE to you!

P.S. If you run Tom Brady’s Facebook Fan page or know who does please dear lord get in contact with me. His fans and sponsors deserve some authentic moments and know the truth; that you are a 15-year-old posting during recess or a middle-aged man in your mom’s basement.

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12 Social Media Tips for 12/12/12

1. Be consistent

As a consumer of either tangible goods, information, technology or services you never want to be left with more questions before you even start buying, ordering, learning, etc. As a brand it is important to have a pattern. Whether that is posting a video every Friday or announcing online sales at the start of each month, it is imperative that constancy is part of your overall digital marketing plan. Obviously last minute updates and stories happen and are the foundation of great content but it’s calming for followers to know that each Tuesday they can go to your website and enter a sweepstakes and then come back on Saturday to see if they were the winner.

2. Be consistent with frequency 

In conjunction with tip numero uno, frequency has become abused by many brand in the social arena. Posting content is a no brainer but posting a handful of posts at 9am and then not posting again until the next month is not going to get your following to grow. When posting content each social media platform has it’s own unwritten etiquette rules (I have personal status-update limits for most social media platforms. Comment if you would like more information of what I use as my “rule of thumb”) so respect your fans and update across all platforms at an evenly pace every day! 

3. Dialogue > Monologue

One of the greatest gifts of using social media is free feedback. Whether it is positive or negative feedback is important for brand definition and growth. By shifting your social media chatter from a monologue where you produce content and never look back, into a dialogue where you answer questions, jump in on conversations and be the go-to source for your followers is the very best way to build follower trust and brand appreciation. 

4. “I am not sure but I will find out for you” is an OK answer

Faking it until you make it is like throwing an interception in the social media arena. No one can know everything and partners/customers/consumers know this. We are all human and all know a great deal of information about specific “things”. Build your brand’s team well so that each part of the team focuses and has background in different areas. This allows you to tell those followers that even if you don’t know the answer/solution at that time you know someone who can give them accurate feedback ASAP. 

5. Have a plan

Have meaning behind your social plan of action. Don’t jump into an empty pool head first. Do research, figure out where your target audience is online and approach reaching them in an organized and well-thought out way. Not everyone will be successful on Twitter or Pinterest so don’t assume you or your brand need to be on over 100 social media platforms because that is what “everyone else” is doing. Your time and your customer’s time is precious… don’t waste it due to poor planning.

But…

6. Don’t be afraid of change

Social media, digital marketing, social strategy and social networks change on a second-by-second basis. Don’t be afraid of the change, embrace it. There is reason to every change on social platforms whether you and your fans see it or not. Facebook didn’t create timeline because they didn’t have anything else going on over there. If the layout, the rules or the features change take a step back and see how these alterations can help you tackle your communication and marketing objectives. 

7. Spend 1-2 hours on social media blogs a day

Read. Learn. Grow. Experiment. Study. Explore. I take about two hours a day (usually during my lengthy commute in the morning) to read-up on a number of blogs that I like. Some are social media and technology based and others are current events, celebrity gossip and sports news. I work in social media and sports and I like to know what actress is dating what athlete so these make sense for me. I like knowing what is going on before most other people and reading every morning is the way I do that. 

Blogs I read: Mashable, Tech Crunch, Fast Company, ESPN, NFL (@RapSheet you caught me… I read you), Perez (don’t judge), CNN and the Blog Squad (NBA). I also run Google alerts on “sports,” “social media” and run the key words through a Hootsuite column I made. 

8. Use platforms in unique ways

Be creative. Even the engineers behind social platforms haven’t seen it all. See how a platform and its tools can help you carry out your already existing digital marketing plan. What would YOUR fans like to see? How can your product/brand be a case study for success on a platform? Sub-Tip: Outreaching the company; Google, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc., is always a good way to get advice.

9. Take tips from top brands

A few of my favorite brands on social media are Old Spice (YouTube), Oreo (Facebook), Lady Gaga (Google+), Microsoft (Blog and Twitter), Nike (Twitter) and the NFL (Google+). These brands are powerhouses on the digital cul de sac. They each have had their moments in the spotlight either by offering unique content, doing never-before-seen things on ever day platforms or have used cross promoting and common voice to create a blanket effect of easy-to-understand messages to fans.

10. Cross promote

Be sure that you cross promote your social media platforms with one another. Make your website or blog be the hub to house all of your official social media pages and then see what platforms are the most popular and promote content to your other sites. Be sure to update buttons/logos/graphics of social media platforms so your site has the most up-to-date information. (If you still have the old Twitter bird change that ASAP… people notice this stuff!)

11. Be the “expert” in your area

I use the word “expert” carefully because I truly believe no one is an expert but for your brand you NEED to be. Be the voice of your brand on social media. Make sure that you are the one that gets the news out first and gets the facts right about your brand. People will always continue to talk so if your social media objective is to be the first-person source for all things (your brand), you are giving yourself a great head start to becoming the place where people go first for information/updates/news. This also allows people to start trusting the voice of your brand which is vital for word-of-mouth marketing. This deals both with negative and positive information. Going quiet during troubled times and letting other people become the “expert” in your area is not the way to grow a brand. It actually will do the opposite. 

12. It’s OK to give FREE advice

Don’t be territorial. No one owns the internet. We are all parts of a very large and evolving machine and we all need some help here and there. The best way to go from good to great in social media marketing is to help others at anytime and with no strings attached. Doing this allows you to see struggles and successes of other brands in which you can use in your everyday work. The people in social media marketing are a great group and with forums, blogs, seminars and round tables a lot of questions can be answered and a lot of uncharted territory can be sailed. Be open to giving advice and be open to doing it for the greater good of the industry. Don’t expect anything back but let me make it known that down the road when you need some help or advice you will be happy you helped out that one time. 

How To Make a Meme on Google+

There is nothing better than a good meme with your morning coffee. Thanks to Google+ you can now out-wit your friends in five super simple steps.

Tip: Google+ is all about the drop and drag. If you have a photo you want to upload just simple drag it over the “status” bar and it will auto upload. You can also drag multiple photos at once. Did someone say easy peasy?

Step 1: Upload a photo by dropping and dragging a photo into the “share what’s new…” space!Screen Shot 2012-12-11 at 1.28.01 PM

Step 2: Once the photo has uploaded (1 second) click “Add text” in the tool bar under the image. As you can see you can also edit the photo, tag people or upload more to the album all within this step!Screen Shot 2012-12-11 at 1.28.24 PM

3. Add text in the three spaces provided. Using the left, center and right alignment buttons move the text around the image. CLICK SAVE.Screen Shot 2012-12-11 at 1.29.01 PM

4. Add a status with appropriate hashtags and select who you would like to share the image with! I would reccomend the Google+ Community, Ryan Gosling Meme.

Note: The text will not appear until you click “share”! So no need to worry that your masterpiece is gone!

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5. Click share and watch your post go viral!

Happy Meming!

10 Holiday Gifts for Your Social Media Muse

1. @Custom #Jewelry

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Thanks to the minds over at Survival of the Hippest giving a custom gift for any twitter obsessed man or woman on your list is easy. If I were a guy buying for my girl I would aim more towards the #Love bracelet and stay away from the #fail necklace. Just a hint for you funny, funny dudes out there.

2. Google Chromebook

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Not all social media lovers are techies and this is something very important to remember when shopping for those who just want to stay connected without the hassle of today’s gadgets. The new Google Chromebook starts at $199 and is made for everyone. It is simple, smart, durable and incredibly user friendly. Whether you have an adventurer that just needs a laptop to search and discover new trails, a grandmother that wants to see pictures of her new grandchildren or a college kid that loves making movies and music, this is the computer to buy.

3. YouTube socks

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Your stocking stuffer search (pun) is over! Nothing says social media geek like the witty play on tradition tube socks. These are too great. There is not much more to say here.

4. iPhone Case

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There are millions of iPhone cases out there but it’s vital for the social media muse to make a statement. Again… a witty one. Show them you think they are the sh*t and give them a “Like a Boss” iPhone case for the holidays.

5. Typewriter for iPad

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This may just be the most creative gift thus far. I can’t even start to explain how amazing this USB connectable typewriter for iPad is. We all have that old school person on our list… you know the one that insists they like to read an actual book and not a nook. The one that never has their cell phone on them because they “want to feel connected to the real world”. Well, here is the perfect gift for them. Give them a trip down memory lane of walking to school up hill both ways and writing on a typewriter where a “delete” button was a white-out sheet that had to be carefully placed in the right space. They won’t even know they are typing on an iPad.

6. Friendcup

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Show that social media geek that their personal branding and hard work at being obsessed with Facebook has paid off and give them a friendcup. Nothing says Happy Holidays like all your “friend’s” faces on a mug. It is sure to start anyone’s day off on the right foot.

Speaking of foot…

7. Social Kicks

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Thanks to some genius artist your social media queen or king can rock out without their crocks out. Give your friend a boost in the fashion department that is sure to cause a stir out on the streets. These custom painted social kicks are inspired by a variety of social platforms, super heroes and television shows.

8. Pillow Talk

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Nothing says “I think your obsessed” like a slew of social media inspired pillows to rest one’s head on. The creative seamstress makes twitter pillows, GMail pillows, RSS feed pillows and more. Whatever your special someone’s obsession is… they have an (app) pillow for that!

9. “Like” Bra

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The Victoria’s Secret Angels must have forgot to throw this on during last week’s fashion show. I’m not sure what would make my Christmas more special than unwrapping a gift from a special someone and finding a Facebook inspired bra. Just think of how B.A. you would feel being at work and knowing what you have under that business suit. It will channel a whole new level of confidence. Just don’t wear it under a white shirt with any chance of rain. #Awkward.

10. Fast Company Subscription

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I am going to be serious on this last one. Fast Company is by far my favorite social media magazine. I read about two hours worth of blogs a day and could probably get all the information I need from those but I just can’t seem to abandon Fast Company. For those on your list that want to have a career in social media, build their brand through digital marketing or just want to find out what is cutting edge THIS is the gift that keeps on giving.

HAPPY SHOPPING!

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