3 Times You Almost Lost All Hope

1. When your mom leaves you in line at the grocery store to “grab something she forgot”… without a form of payment 


I blame my mother for my extreme anxiety because of the torture she used to put me through at the grocery store. Let me set the scene… you are being the best daughter ever, neatly stacking the groceries on the conveyer built, trying to put them up there as quick as you can so you can get to the real fun… bagging, when all of a sudden your mom says “darn, I forgot the bread”. You don’t think anything of it at the time because you are trapped between your cart and the woman’s cart in front of you and the only thing you can think of is that you can now sneak a pack of gum on the belt while your mom is gallivanting in carbs. About 30 seconds into your gum-themed daydream the sound of a check being ripped out of a check book calls your attention as the woman in front of you has now completed her transaction and your groceries start to cross the threshold only to be stopped by the scanner for a brief second. You look up at the cashier in pure horror because your mother, the woman who is supposed to love you unconditionally has left you moneyless and hopeless for what seems to be hours to find bread which is clearly labeled to be molding in aisle 7. As you try to hide your panic you begin to calculate the amount of time you have left before you either start crying or jump the conveyer belt and sprint out of the store. You calculate that you only have about 45 seconds left and while standing on your tip toes peering over the US Weekly wall you realize the line behind you has gotten longer… this my friends is what I call the point of no return. You then start to convince yourself “she wouldn’t really leave me like this, right? she wouldn’t leave me to fend for myself? She has to be coming back.” And as the cashier gets to the very last items and searches the apple for a 4-digit number on the sticker you hear a familiar voice that resembles that of the devil becoming an angel… your mom. For all that is holy she is back, she found the god damn bread and she hands over her credit card like it’s no big thing and you wipe your brow, take your first breath and casually slip the packet of gum into your back pocket. For all the distress she has caused you, you deserve that gum.

2. When you send a text to the wrong person









I believe in karma for one reason and one reason only; when I am talking shit about someone via text I absolutely, no question about it, send that shit-talking text to the person I am shit talking. I don’t know what it is about my brain that wants me to torture myself but I guess I deserve it and I guess it’s my own personal way of trying to teach myself a lesson. My sophomore year of college I received a text from this man, let’s call him Brett, asking me if I wanted to grab lunch with him. Not a big deal but I wasn’t feeling it because in college I’m 99.9% sure I was scared shitless of dating. So I did what any normal 20 year old would do and I texted my girlfriend, let’s call her Jen, the following text message…

Jen! That kid just asked me to lunch and in no way am I going to suffer through that for an hour. Give me an excuse of why I can’t make it… stomach bug? death in the family?….


And as close to being at the top of the largest drop in roller coaster history my stomach beat my mind in realizing what I had just done. The moral of the story is that Brett and I never went to lunch… shocker… but he did call me and text me to remind me of ho much of an immature bitch I was, a reminder that I very clearly did not need. That was the second time I lost all hope.

3. When your only prospect is taken from you…



5 Facebook Photo Keeping You Single


girl kitten cat

NoFilter #JustKitten



Not Pictured: Snow White, Pink Power Ranger, Goofy, Grumpy, Prince Charming, Beast, Sneezy


Amanda Bynes Selfie 2

Worst day ever. I look so awful and just can’t live with this face anymore… what do you all think?



Picked out the ring, the dress and color. Just need to find the man. #OnTheHunt #CouldBeBigger



Found Snow White, Pink Power Ranger, Goofy, Grumpy, Prince Charming, Beast, Sneezy

10 Holiday Gifts for Your Social Media Muse

1. @Custom #Jewelry


Thanks to the minds over at Survival of the Hippest giving a custom gift for any twitter obsessed man or woman on your list is easy. If I were a guy buying for my girl I would aim more towards the #Love bracelet and stay away from the #fail necklace. Just a hint for you funny, funny dudes out there.

2. Google Chromebook


Not all social media lovers are techies and this is something very important to remember when shopping for those who just want to stay connected without the hassle of today’s gadgets. The new Google Chromebook starts at $199 and is made for everyone. It is simple, smart, durable and incredibly user friendly. Whether you have an adventurer that just needs a laptop to search and discover new trails, a grandmother that wants to see pictures of her new grandchildren or a college kid that loves making movies and music, this is the computer to buy.

3. YouTube socks


Your stocking stuffer search (pun) is over! Nothing says social media geek like the witty play on tradition tube socks. These are too great. There is not much more to say here.

4. iPhone Case


There are millions of iPhone cases out there but it’s vital for the social media muse to make a statement. Again… a witty one. Show them you think they are the sh*t and give them a “Like a Boss” iPhone case for the holidays.

5. Typewriter for iPad


This may just be the most creative gift thus far. I can’t even start to explain how amazing this USB connectable typewriter for iPad is. We all have that old school person on our list… you know the one that insists they like to read an actual book and not a nook. The one that never has their cell phone on them because they “want to feel connected to the real world”. Well, here is the perfect gift for them. Give them a trip down memory lane of walking to school up hill both ways and writing on a typewriter where a “delete” button was a white-out sheet that had to be carefully placed in the right space. They won’t even know they are typing on an iPad.

6. Friendcup


Show that social media geek that their personal branding and hard work at being obsessed with Facebook has paid off and give them a friendcup. Nothing says Happy Holidays like all your “friend’s” faces on a mug. It is sure to start anyone’s day off on the right foot.

Speaking of foot…

7. Social Kicks


Thanks to some genius artist your social media queen or king can rock out without their crocks out. Give your friend a boost in the fashion department that is sure to cause a stir out on the streets. These custom painted social kicks are inspired by a variety of social platforms, super heroes and television shows.

8. Pillow Talk


Nothing says “I think your obsessed” like a slew of social media inspired pillows to rest one’s head on. The creative seamstress makes twitter pillows, GMail pillows, RSS feed pillows and more. Whatever your special someone’s obsession is… they have an (app) pillow for that!

9. “Like” Bra


The Victoria’s Secret Angels must have forgot to throw this on during last week’s fashion show. I’m not sure what would make my Christmas more special than unwrapping a gift from a special someone and finding a Facebook inspired bra. Just think of how B.A. you would feel being at work and knowing what you have under that business suit. It will channel a whole new level of confidence. Just don’t wear it under a white shirt with any chance of rain. #Awkward.

10. Fast Company Subscription


I am going to be serious on this last one. Fast Company is by far my favorite social media magazine. I read about two hours worth of blogs a day and could probably get all the information I need from those but I just can’t seem to abandon Fast Company. For those on your list that want to have a career in social media, build their brand through digital marketing or just want to find out what is cutting edge THIS is the gift that keeps on giving.



What’s Your Type of Guy?

What’s your type? What keeps you coming back for more? Is it intelligence? Is it personality? Is it potential for future success? Is it what your friends say?

Wait. Are we talking boys here or are we talking social media platforms? Oh buckle up tweeks, we are talking both. Let’s face our closet Cosmopolitan obsession and breakdown boyfriend “types” in comparison to their eerie similar social media platforms. If you have any other similarities put them in the comments… I’d love to see what kinds of fish in the sea I haven’t tried yet. 😉

Facebook: The Obsessed Boyfriend


With the recent buzz about Facebook’s privacy holes this was a no brainer. Now I know women get the “overly obsessed” and “snoopy” stereotypes before boys but let’s be serious people… when a girl leaves her phone on the nightstand for too long you KNOW you take a peak. Know her password? You probably have plugged it into her email, Facebook, twitter, etc., just to see if you can gain access to those ever-so-coveted message conversations. Oh is that a naked pic of another man on her phone? Welp… sucks he put his face in the photo (amateur) because now it’s being turned into a meme. Payback is a bitch. These obsessed boyfriends always start the conversations with the same questions; What are you doing? Where are you going? Who are you going with?… oh I’m sorry… are you my father? Nahhhh didn’t think so. BUT there is something great about someone who cares so much about you that they are watching your every move… cue the Vampires.

Twitter: The Quiet Boyfriend


Alright ladies, this can go one of two ways. Either the boy is a quiet hero or he literally just doesn’t have anything to say. You know that heartthrob in movies? The jock that is quiet, nice and smart but doesn’t say much? There is so much more to him and it takes a cute farmer’s daughter who loves reading to truly understand him? THIS my friend is the goal. THIS is the perfect “quiet boyfriend.” On the other end of things if a boy is quiet because there is not more to the story than that kind relationship is less than ideal. That’s cool he talks about going to the gym, what he just ate and sends you awesome muscle-mirror pics but let’s be honest here there are a million people just like him. Rules to live by #234: If you don’t have anything deeper to say… don’t say anything at all.

Google+: The Super Social Boyfriend


Ever meet a guy that is good at everything? Knows everyone and just likes to be part of all of the conversations? Yeah… me neither BUT he must exist somewhere cause my friend posts photos of herself and him at EVERY. SINGLE. EVENT. in the city on the reg. Ugh hate her. Kidding. But not really. Dabbling in a lot of different activities is a great way to meet new people and that is exactly what this guy does. He is a sports junkie, an adrenaline seeker loves to cook and tickles the ivories on occasion. One night you are talking to his friends in cooking class and the next you are high-fiving after Gronkowski’s ninth touchdown of the season. He is the connector. The center of the social web in which you are now involved so roll up your sleeves, throw on that eye black and just enjoy the ride. He just gets better with time.

Instagram: The Boyfriend that Taylor Swift Writes About


You knew T Swift had dated your boyfriend when she wrote, “some indy record that’s much cooler than mine.” I may even go as far as to call this guy a hipster. I mean he has 20-15 vision and ALWAYS has those dark rimmed glasses on. Don’t get me wrong (I’m just bitter about the breakup and can’t write a song like my girl TS so I am blogging about it) the relationship with this guy is good. He is calculated in his words. Almost like he filters his thoughts. Abbreviating and the over-use of “rad” are common occurrences. There are many sides to him and he tends to attract a lot of attention from other women. When grabbing coffee on more than one occasion he will be talking to you and then another female will come right into the conversation and completely change the topic of conversation. Like no! I don’t want to know how to make more money of the side and get rich fast… but thanks. (Mean girl snark then turn your back).

Stumbleupon: The Guy That Just Showed Up Out of Nowhere


Every single time I get on an airplane I fantasize that maybe this time (unlike the past 1932323253 flights) a cute guy will be the one that has the 17A to my 17B. It has never happened. But if it ever did he would be THIS guy. The one that fate just happened to help you find. A guy that turns a normal day into an extraordinary one. He appeared out of nowhere and though he isn’t sitting in first class (too perfect) he is back in coach with you (hopefully because he gave up his first class seat to a pregnant lady like a gentleman). Before you are ordered to shut your phone off you send a quick text to your 30+ girlfriends and act cool. Trying to take your jacket off and facing potential awkwardness of getting it stuck half way off of you will not do… You will deal with the heat and claustrophobia because this is a once in a lifetime find. Let’s just hope this is a seven-hour flight and not a 30 minute puddle jumper… that would be a waste.

Fanavivity at its Finest

I recently attempted to explain to a friend, who is not a football fan (mistake # 1) why people are so crazy when it comes to their team. My explanation followed after being given these examples of fans being “crazy”. May I note, I know none of the people in the photos below, nor do I think any of these examples are necessary to prove your ‘die-hard love”.

1. Getting a team’s logo tattooed on a body.











2. Thinking YOU personally caused your team to lose.

3. Continuously tweeting at a player and thinking that you proposing to them is A. cute and B. a realistic way to start a relationship.

First, I have to laugh because in my career I have had to monitor athlete’s Twitter and Facebook accounts and it is absurd the amount of people that not only propose to them but honestly say some of the most inappropriate things to them which will inevitably make the athlete the ‘bad guy’ in the situation.

But in all honestly, my friend poses a good question, why do sports make people so crazy? I don’t think there is one correct answer, but many answers, some more serious and understanding than others, but all-in-all everyone has their own story of why they would take bullets for the third-string long snapper on their favorite NFL team.

My dad has always said this to me (yes, dad this is your shout out), “when everything else in life seems to go wrong or you have given up on humanity, you can turn on the TV every Sunday and your team will be there. They will be playing for you and 85,000 of your friends, whom you have never met, and in those couple of hours of blood, sweat and tears all your problems disappear and the biggest thing you are worried about is that the scoreboard said the wrong down and your kicker missed the field goal (sorry Raven Fans).

I have been around sports for my entire life, heck, I joined a career that deals directly with athletes and leagues and let me tell you, the fans are what make it so magical. I go to a bunch of baseball games every year and frankly, I really don’t like watching baseball and think it is rather boring at times, but the atmosphere is something that I can’t give up. They built it, and you betchya, I sure came.

People are born fans because of their grandparents, become fans because of their college choice and stay fans because though losing for 20-plus years, there is always that glimmer of hope that, that wild card will land in your team’s hands a cinderella playoff miracle will occur right in front of your eyes.

There are no givens, always favorites but never guarantees, always underdogs but never permanent losers. Anything is possible… truly, the history of sports has ‘seen it all.’ It is Fanavivity, a made up word (because sports consist of only made up words these days… thank you Yogi Berra) that seems to fit perfectly for those crazed fans that brand themselves permanently, blame the wrong color nail polish on a game loss and have memorized every NCAA conference the secondary went to.

Needless to say, my friend still doesn’t ‘get it’ and that is ok. I left her with the quote below and I will leave you with this… I salute you, you crazy fans, you parents who name your children after mascots and you kids who name your parents after coaches. I salute those who take Monday off to ‘recover from the loss’ and use the word ‘we’ instead of ‘they’ when talking about a team. I salute those who shed tears after a win and shed tears after a loss. And last but not least, I salute those just like me, who when they need someone to rely on, they turn to their team, a group of men (or women) who have never met them, but who they trust completely to go out there and get the job done.

‘From the outside looking in, you can’t understand it. From the inside looking out, you can’t explain it.’